E - RoyalSome of the fights … and I mean long-standing disagreements … that happen in a marriage should be talked about and worked out before the marriage.

In premarital counseling, the counselor, teacher, or book should lead you toward talking about things you would not normally talk about while dating.

We decide the roles of a man and women in a marriage from our family of origin or just because we think it ought to be that way.

For me … I thought for sure it was the role of the man of the house to pay the bills and control the money … I was twenty when we got married.

Boy was I wrong .. Lisa is way better at that job than I am.

Here are Ten Questions that could (and will) be important but may not seem like it until you start dealing with them.

1)  Who is going to pay the bills?  Why?  How will you make spending decisions?

2)  Do you each have your own money? (This is dangerous)

3)  Is there a head of the house?  What should that look like?  I mean .. The buck stops somewhere and someone needs to take responsibility, right?

4)  Who is responsible for the chores?  Household?  Yard Work?  Getting up at night with the babies?  A lot changes when the kids come along.

5)  How do you feel about someone staying home and having a single income when the kids come?  How will you determine that?

6)  How important is sex in the marriage?  How often?  How important to wife, husband?  You will probably be surprised or be in denial?

7)  Who disciplines the kids?  How do you expect discipline to look in your family?

8)  How do you feel about moving to accept a new job or move up the ladder?  Many come to marriages with bad feelings about having to move all the time during childhood.

9)  How important is it to keep a clean house?  Different personalities will always clash on this one.

10)  What are you going to do to stay in love and learn how to be a better spouse and parent during your marriage?

Bonus Question and most important.  I have counseled more couples who have problems with this question and it could have easily been worked out or become a deal breaker before they got married.

How important is your spiritual life?  What about church?  How will you raise your kids spiritually?

These are very important questions even though you may not think so now.

There are may others … Be careful .. People marry thinking these things will work themselves out …

Work them out before you get married.  You may decide not to tie the knot.

By the way … The divorce rate for a couple who worships, prays, and serves God together is about 1 in a 1000.

What do you think?

From your experience, what are some other things that need to be worked out before marriage?

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