Does it ever seem to make it worse when someone says he is sorry? He says he is sorry but it does not feel like he means it? Then he will say, “I SAID, I’M SORRY. WHAT ELSE DO YOU WANT FROM ME?” …. And that proves your point.
I think when a person says he is sorry .. sorry can mean three different things…
A loud or angry SORREEE is not really sorry. It’s more like, “OK, I am sorry… But I am really not and I really have not done anything for which I need to be sorry. I am saying I am sorry to get you off of my back.”
It may be true that you don’t feel you owe someone an apology, but it’s really not important what you think. If someone has something against you, you are supposed to try to make it right. If the person is offended, the person is offended. If you are the one, it is believed, who did the offending, you need to fix it. You need to fix it in an attempt to fix the relationship, not to try to get the person off your back.
Jesus said that if someone has something against you, then God has something against you.
“So if you are presenting a sacrifice at the altar in the Temple and you suddenly remember that someone has something against you, 24 leave your sacrifice there at the altar. Go and be reconciled to that person. Then come and offer your sacrifice to God. Matthew 5:23-24
Then there is the “I am sorry because I got caught sorry.” You may be filled with remorse and shame, but the sorry is more about meeting your needs and getting on with life than fixing things with the person you hurt or with God.
This is not a real sorry. It may give you some temporary relief from the pain of doing something stupid, but there is no internal or eternal fix with this kind of sorry.
Whatever kind of sorry you present is a sign of the condition of your heart. In your heart, do you care about God and others or do you care more about yourself. The first two sorrys are self-centered sorrys.
The right kind of sorry is an other-centered sorry. It’s the kind of sorry that says “God and people matter to me more that I matter to myself.”
The real Sorry … The one that facilitates relational healing with people and God, also heals and matures your spirit and your soul. This is a sorry that says I feel bad inside because I have hurt you and God. It is a sorry that says I never want to hurt you again. It’s a sorry that says, I am repentant, instead of hurting you and God I want to love. It’s a sorry that says I, “If I can make it right, I want to make it right.”
How are you at sorrys? Does saying you’re sorry and making it right come easy for you or is it difficult?
What are your thoughts on being sorry?