Yesterday I was teaching at a business luncheon on the importance of showing people how much you care. I was applying it to making the organization a good team and improving relationships with clients.
Two of the points I made about showing how much you care were, “Be and encourager” , and “Be a cheerleader.” Most of my audience was female so I mentioned that one of the best ways to make your husband a better husband was to be an encourager. I see women complaining about the way they are treated by their husbands all the time. We are relational beings … You can change that by the way you treat your husband.
A couple of women expressed their concern that I didn’t mention how men could be different. They can. But … The best way I have seen for a wife to make her husband a better husband is to be an encouraging wife.
In a blog post today, Pastor Perry Noble wrote; See: Seven Things a Wife Cannot Do
A wife cannot ever, I MEAN EVER underestimate her influence when it comes to speaking words of encouragement to her husband, ladies, TRUST ME…he needs to be encouraged by you, it means way more than you will EVER know!
This is so true. When I was a counselor, most of my clients were women. Often they would come to counseling for depression, anxiety, or self-esteem issues. It didn’t take long before we got to the issue that their husbands or boyfriends were not very loving, affectionate, or even respectful. Since we could not get the husband or boyfriend to come to counseling, we would start talking about what she could do to make him better.
The lady would come to me for counseling, and soon I was doing marriage counseling with her. Amazingly, if she could get over his behavior and become the person in the relationship she is supposed to be, he would start changing for the better.
At the beginning of the relationship, when she is on her best behavior, he is loving, affectionate, he listens …..
Over and over again as I counseled a wife to be the best wife she could be, and if she was patient, he would change.
You can not nag a guy back into treating you right. You will get more with honey than vinegar.
…a quarrelsome wife is as annoying as constant dripping. Prov 19:13
Give it a try. Instead of complaining that he is not the man you fell in love with. Be the woman he fell in love with.
Try it … And let me know how it goes. Get a counselor to help. But don’t just give up on the relationship.
Kind words are like honey—sweet to the soul and healthy for the body. Prov 16:24