More important than feeling like we love is that the person who is the object of that love feels loved.

 This cannot be done without the action of love and an understanding of the needs of your spouse.

 We know what real love is because Jesus gave up his life for us. So we also ought to give up our lives for our brothers and sisters. 1 John 3:16

 Husbands and wives…submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Eph 5:21

 The Five Love Needs of Men & Women

From the Book by Dr. Gary and Barbara Rosberg

 Men Need #1 – Unconditional Love

“I need you to love me no matter what.”

  • Show grace with his weaknesses
  • Affirm him when you can

 Woman Need #1 – Unconditional love

“I need you to love me with Christ-like love.”

…the same love Christ showed the church. He gave up his life for her. Eph 5:25

  Stand with her                  Compliment her

 Respect her opinion         Talk with her and listen

Be tender with her            Spend time with her

Serve her

 Men need # 2 – Intimacy — SEX

Ladies: Sex is more important than you think

 If need not met husband :     Feels rejected          Shuts down     Looks elsewhere

 Women need # 2 – Intimacy — Affection

“I need you closer to me.”

  • If not met wife:
  • Will withdraw
  • Will not respond sexually
  • May look elsewhere to get need met

 Men Need #3 – Friendship – (Rec. Partner)

“I need you as my most trusted companion.”

  •  Enter his world.


Women Need #3 – Security (Spiritual Closeness) –

“There is no greater comfort and security than this.”

If you don’t treat her as you should, your prayers will not be heard. 1 Peter 3:7 NLT

 Men — Be a servant leader….Not passive or controlling.

 For even I, the Son of Man, came here not to be served but to serve others, and to give my life as a ransom for many.” Mark 10:45 NLT

 Rewards for Spiritual Leadership – Spiritual Fruit

…He will produce this kind of fruit in us: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, and self-control. Here there is no conflict with the law.  Gal 5:22-23 NLT

 Men Need #4 – Encouragement – (Admiration)

“Cheer me on and believe in me.”

 Women Need #4 –  Encouragement 

“Remind me that I am your one and only.”

  • Understand her wiring
  • Give her first place
  • Point out her potential
  • Appreciate her contribution

 Men Need #5 – Spiritual Connection (Real faith)

“I need you to help me grow spiritually.”

  • Spend time in Bible study
  • Prayer
  • Fellowship and worship

 Women Need #5 – Friendship  (Trust)

“I want to grow old with you.”

  • Be a safe place for her.
  • Honor her
  • Be a man of integrity
  • Do things together
  • Step into her world.