I don’t know about you, but I know there are a lot of us who struggle with saying no. I am not sure of all the reasons. Sometimes we just look at every ask as an opportunity. But mostly, we are people pleasers.
When we started Life Connection Church I found myself running around trying to meet the needs of everyone. Very bad idea. For one, that’s impossible. And second, you can get so tied up trying to keep everyone happy you miss out on the opportunites to do the things you know are best for you and for the people that are around you. And I guess a third reason, trying to say yes to everyone is bad, is that you get burned out in a hurry and you start struggling with negative emotions and then you burn out.
At burnout you start avoiding people. Since you are a people pleaser you have just removed yourself from doing what you love most and where you get your energy. The next natural step for you becomes depression.
I am older and a little wiser, and I have learned to say no. (Way more than I used to) In a post by Michael Hyatt yesterday he writes
“I have now resolved to say “no” to everything unless there is a really, really compelling reason to say “yes.” In other words, I have switched my default response from “yes” to “no.””
In Hyatt’s article “Five Reasons Why You Need to Get Better at Saying No” he goves some consequences for saying yes all the time.
- Other peoples’ priorities will take precedence over ours.
- Mere acquaintances—people we barely know!—will crowd out time with family and close friends.
- We will not have the time we need for rest and recovery.
- We will end up frustrated and stressed.
- We won’t be able to say “yes” to the really important things.
There is only one person to whom you don’t want to say no. When you are trying to please everyone, then it is easy to put what God wants on the back burner or ignore Him completely.
Jesus said, “When you obey my commandments, you remain in my love, just as I obey my Father’s commandments and remain in his love. John 15:10
You can read the rest of Michael Hyatt’s article. (by clicking here.)