I talk to people all the time who tell me they wish they had more friends. Or….Wish they had a good friend…..a friend they can count on to be a friend.
How do you have good friends?….You have to become a good friend first.
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You would think becoming a good friend would come naturally.
Selfishness gets in the way of friendship.
Relational Fears that Block True Friendship
1) Fear you won’t accept my weaknesses.
The man replied, “It was the woman you gave me who gave me the fruit, and I ate it.” 13 Then the Lord God asked the woman, “What have you done?” “The serpent deceived me,” she replied. “That’s why I ate it.” Gen 3:12-13
Results: blame and deny
If we claim we have no sin, we are only fooling ourselves and not living in the truth. 1 Jn 1:8
2) Fear you won’t validate my feelings.
Then the Lord God called to the man, “Where are you?” 10 He replied, “I heard you walking in the garden, so I hid. I was afraid because I was naked.” Gen 3:9-10
3) Fear of you having control. (To meet needs)
“And why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye when you have a log in your own?” Matt 7:3
Become a Good Friend
1) Be Selective
Don’t be fooled by those who say such things, for “bad company corrupts good character.” 1 Cor 15:33
2) Be a cheerleader. Help friend be better.
So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing. 1 Thes 5:11
As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend. Prov 27:17
3) Be honest. (Real)
Self – Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. James 5:16
Friend – An open rebuke is better than hidden love! Prov 27:5
4) Be a safe place
A gossip goes around telling secrets, but those who are trustworthy can keep a confidence. Prov 11:13
5) Be loyal.
There are “friends” who destroy each other, but a real friend sticks closer than a brother. Prov 18:24
Key to being a good people friend is being a good God friend.
Jesus replied, “‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ 40 The entire law and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments.” Matt 22:37-40