I was a marriage and family therapist for several years before becoming a pastor. Over and over again the inability to communicate openly and honestly with each other was a major if not the main problem in marriages. Even though women usually communicate in a relationship the most, they are not always authentic or effective. In other words, they communicated in a negative way that actually hurt the relationship more than helped it. We learn to communicate in ways to protect ourselves, keep us in control, or shed the best light (in our minds) on ourselves.
In Christianity Today, Gary Chapman has an article on what he calls Fowl Play. He lists four negative communication patterns he calls the dove, the hawk, the owl, and the ostrich. Take a look at the article and see which of the four negative styles you may communicate with. Then, have your spouse, boyfriend, girlfriend, or child tell you which you tend to practice. You may also want to grade them back, but be careful.
Click here to go to the article……Fowl Play by Gary Chapman…..
